Everyone has got their own stories. I have many. In the different stories I usually play different roles. Sometimes I am a mentor, a student, a leader, a follower, or even as a nice daughter. But recent events have casted me the role of a "victim".
Maybe writing about it will bring me closure. Like, the last chapter of a book with a happy ending yearned by optimistic readers. Usually in these stories the victim, pitied by people who are able to sympathize, get rewarded for their selfless character and the villain gets the right punishment in the end. Then you think about it and try to correlate the story to your life, and you realise that if you are the victim, you do not seem to be anywhere near the last chapter. If you are the villian, you try to think that you are not such a bad person and that someday you will eventually change for the better, just not today or in the near future.
When you are lucky you get to read other people's stories. And then you compared theirs to yours and then you realise that you are not the only person who is experiencing so much drama in their lives.
To all the victims out there, get better soon. Build up our own story and change the tide so that you can arrive at the fabulous ending.
A victim too,
Qing
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Friday, March 05, 2010
Woman
Women, I feel, are many things. They are strong and weak, they are playful and mature, they are indecisive and strong willed, it seems that they are everything. For me, I am none.
Sometimes I feel like a single entity living in the environment, passing each day with the same routine and unable to venture out to the bigger world out there. I am nothing to everybody. Its so sad that sometimes I question my own existence, even the existence of others, who also seem to have done nothing great in their life, not that I know of anyway.
I am not like the women in the movies. They are often pretty, and really special in their own way. They really catch the eye of others. But not me. Not the plain old me.
I realise that as a woman, I am entitled to very few things. Society views and norms and duties have really taken its toll on me. All that I have I use it to please others, or help others, or fulfill obligations. I cannot spread my wings and fly and go to where ever I want. Its sad.
As a woman, we are the more emotional and sensitive beings. So very often I will be filled with fairy-talelike dreams, adventures and of course a prince charming. Then once in awhile I wake up and realise that I am not in a fairy tale, and definitely not in Hollywood, or Disneyland, for all that matters. Its depressing.
Right now I am a woman who have lived half her life (I think), have nothing, and wants to be a boy. Perhaps this entry is just the sensitive side of me talking, well, women are many things.
Sad,
Qing meimei
Sometimes I feel like a single entity living in the environment, passing each day with the same routine and unable to venture out to the bigger world out there. I am nothing to everybody. Its so sad that sometimes I question my own existence, even the existence of others, who also seem to have done nothing great in their life, not that I know of anyway.
I am not like the women in the movies. They are often pretty, and really special in their own way. They really catch the eye of others. But not me. Not the plain old me.
I realise that as a woman, I am entitled to very few things. Society views and norms and duties have really taken its toll on me. All that I have I use it to please others, or help others, or fulfill obligations. I cannot spread my wings and fly and go to where ever I want. Its sad.
As a woman, we are the more emotional and sensitive beings. So very often I will be filled with fairy-talelike dreams, adventures and of course a prince charming. Then once in awhile I wake up and realise that I am not in a fairy tale, and definitely not in Hollywood, or Disneyland, for all that matters. Its depressing.
Right now I am a woman who have lived half her life (I think), have nothing, and wants to be a boy. Perhaps this entry is just the sensitive side of me talking, well, women are many things.
Sad,
Qing meimei
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