Women, I feel, are many things. They are strong and weak, they are playful and mature, they are indecisive and strong willed, it seems that they are everything. For me, I am none.
Sometimes I feel like a single entity living in the environment, passing each day with the same routine and unable to venture out to the bigger world out there. I am nothing to everybody. Its so sad that sometimes I question my own existence, even the existence of others, who also seem to have done nothing great in their life, not that I know of anyway.
I am not like the women in the movies. They are often pretty, and really special in their own way. They really catch the eye of others. But not me. Not the plain old me.
I realise that as a woman, I am entitled to very few things. Society views and norms and duties have really taken its toll on me. All that I have I use it to please others, or help others, or fulfill obligations. I cannot spread my wings and fly and go to where ever I want. Its sad.
As a woman, we are the more emotional and sensitive beings. So very often I will be filled with fairy-talelike dreams, adventures and of course a prince charming. Then once in awhile I wake up and realise that I am not in a fairy tale, and definitely not in Hollywood, or Disneyland, for all that matters. Its depressing.
Right now I am a woman who have lived half her life (I think), have nothing, and wants to be a boy. Perhaps this entry is just the sensitive side of me talking, well, women are many things.
Sad,
Qing meimei
1 comment:
If you wake up in a fairy tale, in Hollywood, or Disneyland, you'll probably prefer the "plain old you" - so plain that you must be almost beautiful and special in your own way.
Boys have their own problems - societal views and norms and forms and duties and all sort of "boys" obligations. For one, I can't say I am depressed because I realize I am not in a fairy tale; or Disneyland.
Btw, Harper Lee's to kill a mockingbird is the number 1 on the librarian's must read list.
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