"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back"
This is a song which set me thinking. A song which trigerred many thoughts in me.
"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you are their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'em
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of a pain?"
Will you take the people around you for granted? Maybe I have reached this stage in life where friends are either getting married, stepping into the adult life, or have already went to Heaven.
I hope that I am not a source of pain to the people that I love. Maybe sometimes I am very stubborn, have a bad temper, and insensitive, but do stop me and ask me to look at you. I will.
So, when I am gone, smile. Rejoice, and remember me.
I love Eminem,
Qing
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
HKUST...
I realized that I have not written about this trip yet! Opps. My bad.
Well, it was an amazing experience. Team NUS went to Hong Kong University of Science and Technology during July this year. It was for a handball tournament. I was very excited initially as that was my first overseas handball competition.
The standard over in Hong Kong was high, of course. Some universities were totally awesome. Tongji University from China was the best, in my opinion. They were tall, strong, fast, and more aggressive then the other teams. Their goalkeeper was fantastic too. I realised that after watching them play, and after I came back to Singapore and watch handball games, I could not get as excited anymore. When I was over there, I was totally captivating by the skill, grace and prowess that some players possessed.
Of course I made some friends, the people from National Taiwan University left the greatest impression. Tsinghua University pampered us with gifts. I was on cloud 9. Really. It's like people coming together in one place with different backgrounds, but with the same passion. I have seen guys shed tears over there. Unbelievable.
I want to go for this competition again next year.
See you in Macau,
Qing
Well, it was an amazing experience. Team NUS went to Hong Kong University of Science and Technology during July this year. It was for a handball tournament. I was very excited initially as that was my first overseas handball competition.
The standard over in Hong Kong was high, of course. Some universities were totally awesome. Tongji University from China was the best, in my opinion. They were tall, strong, fast, and more aggressive then the other teams. Their goalkeeper was fantastic too. I realised that after watching them play, and after I came back to Singapore and watch handball games, I could not get as excited anymore. When I was over there, I was totally captivating by the skill, grace and prowess that some players possessed.
Of course I made some friends, the people from National Taiwan University left the greatest impression. Tsinghua University pampered us with gifts. I was on cloud 9. Really. It's like people coming together in one place with different backgrounds, but with the same passion. I have seen guys shed tears over there. Unbelievable.
I want to go for this competition again next year.
See you in Macau,
Qing
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Red lights...
I guess a life's journey is like driving. Sometimes its a cruise, othertimes its a bumpy ride.
Meeting a red light while driving, I would say, is a part of the driving process. I hate red lights. It's wasting my time, wasting the petrol, and making me stop and watch other people pass me by while doing nothing at all. After 20 seconds of waiting, I would suddenly focus my attention on the most minute detail on the road, like what colour the bag of a pedestrian is, the license plate number of the car which just made a U-turn, and I could list more. My point is, I get distracted from my destination.
Sometimes my heart gets hurt. Its like stopping at a red light. I will then take a step back, focus my mind on other stuff, like blogging, playing Sims, and the list goes on. Then, my tears will flow, but my mind is still on finishing this entry, and suddenly, I don't know what else to do. Then I will indulge in self-pity, making myself believe that the people around me don't deserve my love for them anymore. A red light is not a pit stop in life, it is a sad chapter of my life.
So I guess meeting with a fatal accident would mean the end of a life.
A funeral forever marches in my heart,
Qing
Meeting a red light while driving, I would say, is a part of the driving process. I hate red lights. It's wasting my time, wasting the petrol, and making me stop and watch other people pass me by while doing nothing at all. After 20 seconds of waiting, I would suddenly focus my attention on the most minute detail on the road, like what colour the bag of a pedestrian is, the license plate number of the car which just made a U-turn, and I could list more. My point is, I get distracted from my destination.
Sometimes my heart gets hurt. Its like stopping at a red light. I will then take a step back, focus my mind on other stuff, like blogging, playing Sims, and the list goes on. Then, my tears will flow, but my mind is still on finishing this entry, and suddenly, I don't know what else to do. Then I will indulge in self-pity, making myself believe that the people around me don't deserve my love for them anymore. A red light is not a pit stop in life, it is a sad chapter of my life.
So I guess meeting with a fatal accident would mean the end of a life.
A funeral forever marches in my heart,
Qing
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Team NUS
Even though NUS does not recognise us, we are still Team NUS. We bear the NUS crest over our right chest, we bear the name on our backs. Shouldn't that represent something?
Everyone has got their own lives now. Everyone is busy with something. What I hope to see from you girls is that passion you all had while playing IHG. Where has that fire gone? Was it not due to passion that you girls agreed to join this team in the first place?
Girls, I believe we can achieve wonders. I really do. Look at us. Look at our improvements. Look at what we dared to try. Look at your teammates.
I do not know how to influence people to do tasks for me. But I hope I can show you that we can only achieve wonders if we are together.
Team NUS, whoosh,
Qing
Everyone has got their own lives now. Everyone is busy with something. What I hope to see from you girls is that passion you all had while playing IHG. Where has that fire gone? Was it not due to passion that you girls agreed to join this team in the first place?
Girls, I believe we can achieve wonders. I really do. Look at us. Look at our improvements. Look at what we dared to try. Look at your teammates.
I do not know how to influence people to do tasks for me. But I hope I can show you that we can only achieve wonders if we are together.
Team NUS, whoosh,
Qing
Sunday, February 19, 2006
To become a better person...
After living in this world for 21 years, I have learnt that life is just not fair. As much as I try to make things fair for the people around me, there is really no way I can dictate the flow of some events.
For a lady my age I believe that I have seen and experienced many things. Some joyous, some heart breaking. And due to the fact that many people has already broken my heart, I try my best not to do the same to others. As a result I put in effort to fulfill everyone's expectations of me. I want to become a better person by making all those around me happy and smile at the thought of me, to remember me as someone nice and as someone close to their hearts.
Yet, I still broke his heart. I made him cry and experience despair. I made him feel all those emotions that I swear I would never let one experience.
I am really sorry that things have to turn out this way. I just pray that his wounds would heal fast, and be happy again. This is the least that I can do to not be a bad person.
How can I be a better person when I just break people's hearts,
Qing
For a lady my age I believe that I have seen and experienced many things. Some joyous, some heart breaking. And due to the fact that many people has already broken my heart, I try my best not to do the same to others. As a result I put in effort to fulfill everyone's expectations of me. I want to become a better person by making all those around me happy and smile at the thought of me, to remember me as someone nice and as someone close to their hearts.
Yet, I still broke his heart. I made him cry and experience despair. I made him feel all those emotions that I swear I would never let one experience.
I am really sorry that things have to turn out this way. I just pray that his wounds would heal fast, and be happy again. This is the least that I can do to not be a bad person.
How can I be a better person when I just break people's hearts,
Qing
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The aftermath...
Now that IHG is over, I would like to bring closure to my heart, a closure to IHG 0506.
Although this season ended without a handball gold, I really would like to thank everyone for giving me this experience, leaving me with wonderful memories, and a stronger heart.
First of all, I would like to thank Yan. A superb captain. Thanks for having so much faith in me. I really left the 6-M defense to you, and truely, you are the pillar of our 6-M defense. A wonderful experience fighting alongside with you for the gold medal this year. Really a regret that the gold medal was not ours. Training with you has also pushed me to seek out what I can really do as a center. Thanks for everything.
Janice and Adele. My 2 wings. My angels who always give me hope when the sitution seemed bleak. I must really apologise for not utilising the 2 of you enough. Both of you also give me so many ideas on how to coordinate the attack, I really am so proud of you two. The best wings that I will ever have.
Lizard, Liling, Sarah and Shilin. I can't express my gratitude enough to the four of you. Sometimes when I make demanding requests out of u all, give you all stress by not being able to support u all when the fish denies me out of the game, I am really glad that u all handled these situations well. Lizard, thanks for making me jump with joy with your superb shots. Liling, surperb defense. You are solid! Shilin, a super versatile player and my fishing partner. Sarah, for showing me that you want the ball too.
Shuyun and Xinwei, my keepers. Stress must be mounting on the both of you whenever we did not protect you enough. Penalty, fast breaks and open 6-M shots, its our fault. Thanks for all those superb saves and for the constant reminder of where the gap of our defense is. Respect.
Nikki, solid pivot. Can see from your pivot shots that you are becoming a great pivot. Don't know whether we can play together again next year, but I really felt the fire in you this year. Thanks for all the encouragement when I am tired.
Cheryl, a surperb wing in the making. I am glad that I brought you into the team. Having seen such excellent wings before you, I have that you really strive to become the next best left wing that KR has to offer.
Vanessa, my center understudy. I hope that I have shown you many things this year on how a center should play and should not play. Strive to become an excellent center. Be more comanding on court. Scream your heart out, because that is when you really enjoy being the center.
The rest of the team. You are all my moral support. Hearing your shouts made me want to play better for the rest of you. Hpe you all fell in love with this sport as much as I did.
Ken, Jieming, Huan and Beck. Thanks for giving me insights to the game. Without you guys as my lighthouses I would be lost as a center.
Qing yow, Ron , Huangchao, Ai may, Mavis, Ruiyi, Bert, Surin, Wan Lyn, Hong Zheng, Kok Siang, Geraldine. Thanks for helping us out during trainings and giving us valuable comments. The team appreciates your presence.
It is funny that I always talk about handball in my blog. So many emotions, so dramatic. To those who have never played this sport, yes, handball is definitely a sport that once you start playing, you just cannot stop.
Just cannot settle for anything lesser than gold,
Qing
Although this season ended without a handball gold, I really would like to thank everyone for giving me this experience, leaving me with wonderful memories, and a stronger heart.
First of all, I would like to thank Yan. A superb captain. Thanks for having so much faith in me. I really left the 6-M defense to you, and truely, you are the pillar of our 6-M defense. A wonderful experience fighting alongside with you for the gold medal this year. Really a regret that the gold medal was not ours. Training with you has also pushed me to seek out what I can really do as a center. Thanks for everything.
Janice and Adele. My 2 wings. My angels who always give me hope when the sitution seemed bleak. I must really apologise for not utilising the 2 of you enough. Both of you also give me so many ideas on how to coordinate the attack, I really am so proud of you two. The best wings that I will ever have.
Lizard, Liling, Sarah and Shilin. I can't express my gratitude enough to the four of you. Sometimes when I make demanding requests out of u all, give you all stress by not being able to support u all when the fish denies me out of the game, I am really glad that u all handled these situations well. Lizard, thanks for making me jump with joy with your superb shots. Liling, surperb defense. You are solid! Shilin, a super versatile player and my fishing partner. Sarah, for showing me that you want the ball too.
Shuyun and Xinwei, my keepers. Stress must be mounting on the both of you whenever we did not protect you enough. Penalty, fast breaks and open 6-M shots, its our fault. Thanks for all those superb saves and for the constant reminder of where the gap of our defense is. Respect.
Nikki, solid pivot. Can see from your pivot shots that you are becoming a great pivot. Don't know whether we can play together again next year, but I really felt the fire in you this year. Thanks for all the encouragement when I am tired.
Cheryl, a surperb wing in the making. I am glad that I brought you into the team. Having seen such excellent wings before you, I have that you really strive to become the next best left wing that KR has to offer.
Vanessa, my center understudy. I hope that I have shown you many things this year on how a center should play and should not play. Strive to become an excellent center. Be more comanding on court. Scream your heart out, because that is when you really enjoy being the center.
The rest of the team. You are all my moral support. Hearing your shouts made me want to play better for the rest of you. Hpe you all fell in love with this sport as much as I did.
Ken, Jieming, Huan and Beck. Thanks for giving me insights to the game. Without you guys as my lighthouses I would be lost as a center.
Qing yow, Ron , Huangchao, Ai may, Mavis, Ruiyi, Bert, Surin, Wan Lyn, Hong Zheng, Kok Siang, Geraldine. Thanks for helping us out during trainings and giving us valuable comments. The team appreciates your presence.
It is funny that I always talk about handball in my blog. So many emotions, so dramatic. To those who have never played this sport, yes, handball is definitely a sport that once you start playing, you just cannot stop.
Just cannot settle for anything lesser than gold,
Qing
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Before the finals...
Who will be the champions? Who wants to the GOLD medal more? Who has what it takes?
Kent Ridge. Me. Me.
Wanting to be the center I want myself to be,
Qing
Kent Ridge. Me. Me.
Wanting to be the center I want myself to be,
Qing
Friday, January 13, 2006
Thank you for believing in me...
Now that I have finally settled down in hall, finally found time to write here...
IHG has started, and new challenges now lie ahead. Armed with a determined mind, a strong heart, and an unbreakable spirit, I now dare to challenge what I was always afraid of. All this was possible with the help of my teammates, coaches and seniors. They believe that I can.
My teammates all wrote something for me on a piece of paper, and after reading it, it drove me to play harder and to play for all of them. My seniors gave me the confidence that I needed, the extra push to break mental barrier that I had. My coaches patiently point out my mistakes, and give me room to exercise my own jugdement. All that I have ever wanted in playing a sport.
Thanks for everything,
Qing
IHG has started, and new challenges now lie ahead. Armed with a determined mind, a strong heart, and an unbreakable spirit, I now dare to challenge what I was always afraid of. All this was possible with the help of my teammates, coaches and seniors. They believe that I can.
My teammates all wrote something for me on a piece of paper, and after reading it, it drove me to play harder and to play for all of them. My seniors gave me the confidence that I needed, the extra push to break mental barrier that I had. My coaches patiently point out my mistakes, and give me room to exercise my own jugdement. All that I have ever wanted in playing a sport.
Thanks for everything,
Qing
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