今世郎已离
难以再相逢
如今何处能
接续未尽缘
为何你还来拨动我心跳，
青妹
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Recently...
Recently I have been spending lots of my time with friends. Playing basketball, watching movies eating dinner/supper and simple chatting are the things that we do together. When I was in Malaysia, they still accompanied me through my depressing moments despite the expensive phone calls and it being the lunar new year. They totally rock.
One of them is someone whom I have known for a long time. He understands my situation the most. We have much in common and and are so comfortable with each other that we imitate the way each other talk. Talking to him is easy and words always just pop right out of me without the slightest hesitation. In front of him I find myself often lacking the will to be strong in front of people, to put up a brave front so that they will never see the actual sorry state that I am in. He have seen me in my worst state and he actually once told me that I can put aside all my armour when I am with him. Whoa. Thank God for this friend.
Another friend is someone whom I have gotten to know better recently. He is gentle and kind. I find myself trusting him a hundred percent. Sometimes I think that I am overly reliant on him, as he really spends the time to chat with me the whole day sometimes. Regardless of what other people might say about him, I feel that he is one person whom I can trust to protect me. The sweetest thing he has ever said to me was that he would be my goalie, when I said that I feel like an untended goalpost. Steady. Thank God for sending me this friend.
The third friend is someone whom I have been very close to in the past, and though we are still close now, maybe it is no longer the same kind of feeling. He is always there and willing to listen. Although sometimes his advice is totally inapplicable, he is funny and always tries to make me laugh. I wish that he will be able to see and feel my sincerity in being friends with him. I thank God for letting our paths cross.
The last friend whom I want to mention is someone who has caught my attention (at least initially) with his tattoo. Its a pretty piece of art and I totally respect him as a person and as a man (taking into account his young age). He is very thoughtful and sweet and does the most unexpected things sometimes. He always say the wisest things when I least expect to hear it. Thank God I met him (this time under a different light and setting).
Well, because I have been spending time with this few friends (among many others), I feel that my road to recovery is not as bad as it could originally be. They totally rock.
Blessed,
Qing
One of them is someone whom I have known for a long time. He understands my situation the most. We have much in common and and are so comfortable with each other that we imitate the way each other talk. Talking to him is easy and words always just pop right out of me without the slightest hesitation. In front of him I find myself often lacking the will to be strong in front of people, to put up a brave front so that they will never see the actual sorry state that I am in. He have seen me in my worst state and he actually once told me that I can put aside all my armour when I am with him. Whoa. Thank God for this friend.
Another friend is someone whom I have gotten to know better recently. He is gentle and kind. I find myself trusting him a hundred percent. Sometimes I think that I am overly reliant on him, as he really spends the time to chat with me the whole day sometimes. Regardless of what other people might say about him, I feel that he is one person whom I can trust to protect me. The sweetest thing he has ever said to me was that he would be my goalie, when I said that I feel like an untended goalpost. Steady. Thank God for sending me this friend.
The third friend is someone whom I have been very close to in the past, and though we are still close now, maybe it is no longer the same kind of feeling. He is always there and willing to listen. Although sometimes his advice is totally inapplicable, he is funny and always tries to make me laugh. I wish that he will be able to see and feel my sincerity in being friends with him. I thank God for letting our paths cross.
The last friend whom I want to mention is someone who has caught my attention (at least initially) with his tattoo. Its a pretty piece of art and I totally respect him as a person and as a man (taking into account his young age). He is very thoughtful and sweet and does the most unexpected things sometimes. He always say the wisest things when I least expect to hear it. Thank God I met him (this time under a different light and setting).
Well, because I have been spending time with this few friends (among many others), I feel that my road to recovery is not as bad as it could originally be. They totally rock.
Blessed,
Qing
Saturday, January 17, 2009
One night only...
I was looking through my old albums then I came across the Dreamgirls soundtrack. It was really a great movie, moving me to tears especially at the scene when Effie was deserted by the group and her man actually wanted her out the most.
So there was a song in this soundtrack which really made me super sad as it really dipicts my feelings and story now. In the movie it was sung by Effie, I believed at the bar where she was singing solo.
So there was a song in this soundtrack which really made me super sad as it really dipicts my feelings and story now. In the movie it was sung by Effie, I believed at the bar where she was singing solo.
One Night Only
You want all my love and my devotion
You want my loving soul right on the line
I have no doubt that I could love you forever
The only trouble is
You really don't have the time
You've got one night only
One night only
That's all you have to spare
One night only
Let's not pretend to care
One night only
One night only
Come on, Big baby, come on
One night only
We only have till dawn
In the morning this feeling will be gone
It has no chance going on
Something so right
Has got no chance to live
So let's forget about chances
It's one night I will give
One night only
One night only
You'll be the only one
One night only
Then you'll have to run
One night only
One night only
There's nothing more to say
One night only
Words get in the way
One night only
Weak,
Qing meimei
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Handball again...
Looking back at my few recent posts, I realised that I have not been talking about handball recently, even though its still a major part of my life. Hmm...
Well, went back to NUS yesterday to support KR handball girls in their match against RH. KR lost and it marked the end of the season for them. During team debrief I suddenly realised that I missed playing IHG. I am also saddened by the fact the the passion for this sport is no longer strong in KR. Even the number of spectators decreased. Handball used to be a sport with many spectators and supporters. However yesterday there was no chanting of "KR Warriors...." and there were only cheers and drum beats.
Watching the current batch of KR girls play was like reliving my KR moments. Full of different emotions, excitement, disappointment and anticipation. I was reminded of my KR teammates, like Yan, Lizard, Shi, Shuyun, Janice, Becky, Mavis, Yuwei, Geraldine, Ai May, Wanlyn, Ruiyi and many others. I suddenly felt nostalgic.
So it was during debrief and it was comin to the end, suddenly Ethel (KR Year 2 GK) asked the team,"What are your feelings now? Do you feel sad, happy or what? I feel sad, but I do not know about the rest of you. So how are you all feeling right now?"
The moment she asked this question, I was so happy. At last! Someone actually felt something (besides Be;;a). Then I could not resist anymore and I said:
Hmm.. Let me share with you all a bit of my experience when I was in KR. When I was in Year 2, KR Handball girls lost to EH in semifinals by 1 goal. I was captain that year and I was so upset that I cried for many days(I actually started this blog to remember forever this loss). I could not face my graduating seniors and especially E-block seniors. It was because I felt so much for the game and that as a Captain, I was unable to lead my team to victory and defend our title. So that was how much I felt for my team and this sport. Passion cannot be forced upon, you girls have to train hard together in order to have a chance to feel this passion.
Tears started swelling in my eyes but I wanted to appear as a strong senior figure so I held the tears back. Then I looked at Bella, who is one of my favourite juniors, and I felt so helpless. I could not do anything to help her. I hope that Bella will become stronger and gain valuable lessons from this experience and also take good care of her injuries. Another junior whom I am rather worried about is Xiao Bai. She is a very responsible captain and centre and tried her very best to fill in the leader's role. Good job there. Do not put all the pressure and blame onto yourself. Do not be discouraged, you have only just started.
Well, I hope that the KR girls will emerge stronger after this season. Maybe its time I join them for trainings. Sigh really miss those days. Miss the sport, miss the people, miss KR.
KR warriors,
Qing meimei
Well, went back to NUS yesterday to support KR handball girls in their match against RH. KR lost and it marked the end of the season for them. During team debrief I suddenly realised that I missed playing IHG. I am also saddened by the fact the the passion for this sport is no longer strong in KR. Even the number of spectators decreased. Handball used to be a sport with many spectators and supporters. However yesterday there was no chanting of "KR Warriors...." and there were only cheers and drum beats.
Watching the current batch of KR girls play was like reliving my KR moments. Full of different emotions, excitement, disappointment and anticipation. I was reminded of my KR teammates, like Yan, Lizard, Shi, Shuyun, Janice, Becky, Mavis, Yuwei, Geraldine, Ai May, Wanlyn, Ruiyi and many others. I suddenly felt nostalgic.
So it was during debrief and it was comin to the end, suddenly Ethel (KR Year 2 GK) asked the team,"What are your feelings now? Do you feel sad, happy or what? I feel sad, but I do not know about the rest of you. So how are you all feeling right now?"
The moment she asked this question, I was so happy. At last! Someone actually felt something (besides Be;;a). Then I could not resist anymore and I said:
Hmm.. Let me share with you all a bit of my experience when I was in KR. When I was in Year 2, KR Handball girls lost to EH in semifinals by 1 goal. I was captain that year and I was so upset that I cried for many days(I actually started this blog to remember forever this loss). I could not face my graduating seniors and especially E-block seniors. It was because I felt so much for the game and that as a Captain, I was unable to lead my team to victory and defend our title. So that was how much I felt for my team and this sport. Passion cannot be forced upon, you girls have to train hard together in order to have a chance to feel this passion.
Tears started swelling in my eyes but I wanted to appear as a strong senior figure so I held the tears back. Then I looked at Bella, who is one of my favourite juniors, and I felt so helpless. I could not do anything to help her. I hope that Bella will become stronger and gain valuable lessons from this experience and also take good care of her injuries. Another junior whom I am rather worried about is Xiao Bai. She is a very responsible captain and centre and tried her very best to fill in the leader's role. Good job there. Do not put all the pressure and blame onto yourself. Do not be discouraged, you have only just started.
Well, I hope that the KR girls will emerge stronger after this season. Maybe its time I join them for trainings. Sigh really miss those days. Miss the sport, miss the people, miss KR.
KR warriors,
Qing meimei
Monday, January 12, 2009
I eat boys for breakfast...
Well, boys should stay away from me, seriously. I am not a good influence, no matter how harmless I may seem on the surface. I am dark and twisted and forever surrounded by sadness. I am also a die-hard romantic and super childish. So I am not someone that a boy can possibly handle.
Now is also not a good time for me to be involved with someone else. Its tough.
Stay away,
Qing meimei
Now is also not a good time for me to be involved with someone else. Its tough.
Stay away,
Qing meimei
Starting all over...
Hmm... I guess there comes a point in all of our lives where we find ourselves lost, with no motivation/drive whatsoever. Right now, this is where I am.
Too many things happened over this last year. I got older, put on a bit of weight, lost my boyfriend and quit playing competitive handball. In this new year of 2009, actually there is not much looking forward to, and now I think I need to step down from the fast lane so as to heal all the injuries that i have "collected" for the last year in 2008.
Well, I am really thankful towards my friends, especially people like Daphne, Shin, Fish, Luan, YY, Chongtak, Chubi, Su Zhen, Bella, Yonghui, Ang Ling, Jon, Mary, Bao, Del, Hao yi and many others for either being there for me, or just spending time with me whenever I needed company or just being understanding towards how I am feeling. I also want to write about 2 strangers whom I have met about a month ago on bus Service No. 853. They really made my day by saying that I have got high pay(makes me appreciate my miserable paycheck a little more) and that I look like a 16 year old. Whoa! Long time since I last heard that. Totally made my day.
Lately I have also learnt to listen to music more and miss the days where I still listen to rap. Maybe these few days I will make a trip to a music store and catch up on what I have been missing out so far.
I think I need a vacation badly,
Qing meimei
Too many things happened over this last year. I got older, put on a bit of weight, lost my boyfriend and quit playing competitive handball. In this new year of 2009, actually there is not much looking forward to, and now I think I need to step down from the fast lane so as to heal all the injuries that i have "collected" for the last year in 2008.
Well, I am really thankful towards my friends, especially people like Daphne, Shin, Fish, Luan, YY, Chongtak, Chubi, Su Zhen, Bella, Yonghui, Ang Ling, Jon, Mary, Bao, Del, Hao yi and many others for either being there for me, or just spending time with me whenever I needed company or just being understanding towards how I am feeling. I also want to write about 2 strangers whom I have met about a month ago on bus Service No. 853. They really made my day by saying that I have got high pay(makes me appreciate my miserable paycheck a little more) and that I look like a 16 year old. Whoa! Long time since I last heard that. Totally made my day.
Lately I have also learnt to listen to music more and miss the days where I still listen to rap. Maybe these few days I will make a trip to a music store and catch up on what I have been missing out so far.
I think I need a vacation badly,
Qing meimei
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)